The following is a reprint of an article I wrote years ago for a women’s website. It was well received and was inspired by my blog at that time, titled, Recovering Church Lady. I’m all better now! Thank you Dana Carvey.
I used to be a church lady.
Almost like the well-known TV character that makes us laugh, but she also makes me very sad. Sad, because I know her. Sad because I recognize the fear that motivates her. She acted superior but she did not feel superior, she felt afraid.
In her mind, God was an extremely difficult and unreachable being who set up a series of unreachable standards that were requirements for entry into Heaven. The idea of a friendship with God here on earth was not even considered. Life was all about getting the points piled up by doing good here, so that we will be issued a ticket that said, “Well done, you may enter your reward.”
I too, have spent many years working for God. More than a few of those committees and Bible studies I was involved in had little to do with my friendship with God. They were expectations put on me by myself and by others. Wouldn’t God love me more if I did more for Him? Is that such an unreasonable motivation?
The truth is that God loved me long before I was introduced to Him. He thought I was amazing before I was a senior pastor’s wife who spent ridiculous numbers of hours on the phone getting the women’s ministry event organized. God delighted in me without taking into account all the wonderful work I did for Him.
But why? Why in the world would the great Creator of all things care about me just as much before I shivered at six o’clock every morning for two years praying in the church sanctuary? Didn’t He love me at least a LITTLE bit more when He saw that sacrifice?
You can be sure that the church lady in me wanted to believe I was making some pretty big points on those mornings. Every minute spent on my knees or pacing and praying was definitely adding up in His big book of good deeds. What about missionaries? They give up the comforts of a civilized society and move to remote, dirty places to tell strangers about God. Surely missionaries will be hearing some extra hearty welcoming praise as they enter Heaven!
I am no longer a “church lady”. The striving to be holy and pure is gone. The fight to appear perfect so that I don’t become a “stumbling block” to others is over. My mission to live by the rules to gain the love of God is done. Now I am basking in being His Beloved.
I am loved, accepted and delighted in by God. He is not waiting until I get it right. He is not looking at me with hope in His eyes for what the future-me will become. God is pleased with me today, now, in all my ordinariness and goofiness!
Are you a “church lady?” Have you ever been a “church lady?” Would you care to join me in recovery?
Walking Butterfly 
I loved this post when you first wrote it, and I still love it today. I’m glad you were able to rediscover some of your old posts. This was a great one. Yes, I’ve been that “church lady”, sharing many similar experiences with yours. It took me a long to time to learn that it was okay to say “no” once in a while to the many demands put upon me as a Pastor’s Wife, while still juggling all the busyness of being a mommy to three active little boys and a wife to my hubby, who was the pastor. I learned the hard way that my first responsibility was to be the very best wife and mother that I could be, and that God loved me exactly the way I was. He still loves me today, and He has brought me a long way through all the years of trials and tribulations. He created me to be His precious child, and all He asked was for my love for Him in return. I didn’t to prove myself worthy of His love. Jesus did that for me. This was a good reminder, because even though I am retired from that “church lady role” now, I still struggle with my own worthiness now and then. God’s not finished with me yet, praise God. And this was one of the lessons I had to learn, like you. Thank you, Susie. We’ve both come a long way!
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