Not Alone

I have been cleaning and organizing my home and life for the last two weeks. All floors are vacuumed, some have even been mopped! I have dusted cobwebs out of window sills, scrubbed refrigerator shelves, and done multiple loads of laundry. Our fridge holds a huge bag of frozen tortilla soup, a large pyrex of roasted veggies and several baggies of presorted chopped fruit for smoothies.

My husband watched all this and remarked that it is just like what I do when preparing for Christmas. I answered that I feel better when my world is clean and organized. Always getting the last word, he said, “Susie, your world is always clean and organized.”

I honestly had not planned to write about this, but when I was in the backyard, shaking out rugs just now, the sweetest thing happened and it made me smile and want to write. The weather is finally a sensible 92 degrees here in Texas today and I was reveling in the beauty of not getting slammed in the face by heat. At that moment a really large, bright yellow butterfly soared across my line of vision and circled my yard a few times before landing for a few seconds on the edge of our pool. It was so pretty and so lighthearted that it made me smile and giggle a bit.

I needed a giggle and smile. I am scared and nervous about my first ever surgery, happening in a couple of days. It is not terribly serious or life threatening at all, but I’ve got the jitters for sure. Did I write about falling while walking my dog, Gretta? After many months of pain in my twisted foot, we have discovered that I ripped a tendon and my doc is going to stitch it back together this week. (Yep, I did write about my fall, in “Being Careful Stinks!” )

All the extra cleaning and cooking is because I am supposed to stay off my feet for two weeks following the operation. My husband will be great at caring for me, I know that. But veggies are my favorite and he is not a big fan. So, I now know that I will have easy access to my fruit and vegetables without too much effort. And while he is awesome at cleaning the cars, garage, yard and pool, I’m not sure he really notices the dog hair or dust inside the house. So I got ‘er done.

My sister texed me last night and told me she was praying for me and the surgery. She told me a story about how my niece felt the touch of Jesus hand on her shoulder when she was feeling scared and alone in the hospital giving birth during the pandemic shutdown.

Her story reminded me of a scary moment in my life many years ago. I was driving over the Santa Cruz mountain alone in a rainstorm, going back to college after Christmas vacation at home, about 100 miles away.

As my fingers gripped the steering wheel and I struggled to see through the sheets of rainwater on the windshield, I clearly heard, “I am here.” It was so clear that I glanced over to the passenger seat fully expecting to see Jesus riding along with me.

Both of those little stories are filling me with a new calm about my week ahead. I am still scared, but I don’t feel alone. I am reminded that I am loved and watched over. And the yellow butterfly? Come on, is He just showing off now?

Susie